“You’re tearing me apart....”
James Dean, Rebel Without A Cause
So, this morning, I’m sitting at my desk near the window. In my right ear is the sound of one of my kids, in the bathroom, vomiting for the third time since she got out of bed. In my left ear is the sound of birds singing in the trees outside. They seem very happy about something.
Have you ever heard the word “incongruous?”
So much of my life seems to go like this. I live in the middle. I have one foot in joy and the other in sorrow. I feel good but I feel bad. I have hope but I’m out of answers. I live between what I am able to do or have time to do and what people expect me to do.
When I was a kid I was hanging out with two friends. We were out playing and the two of them wanted to do two different things, go in two different directions. One grabbed one of my hands to pull me in his direction and at the exact same time the other friend grabbed my other hand to pull me in the other direction. Very quickly I became a “thing” instead of a person. A rope for their tug of war. For a moment I became a “thing” they used to accomplish what they wanted, one way or another. And they pulled so hard, so fast, that they hurt me – but they weren’t very concerned about it because they were so focused on what they wanted.
And still, too often, this happens.
Peace to you.
© LW Publishing 2010