I’m going in next week to be sliced again. This time it will be my right hand. Less of a big deal for playing the guitar, but a bigger deal for everything else because I’m right handed. So I’ve been practicing doing things with my left hand that I normally do with my right.
It’s not fun.
But I’m actually looking forward to getting this done and over with. The carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand has made my hand stronger and more sensitive. With some more time I’ll be playing better than ever, and I’m hoping to get back on the drums sometime in December or January after my right hand is fully healed. It takes a long time.
I’ve found this whole experience kind of challenging because there are things I simply can’t do while I’m healing from the surgery. I have to rely on others to do things, which I’m mostly okay with, but I feel a certain guilt about it all. Like I’m not pulling my weight. To my way of thinking, there’s a very fine line between taking care of yourself and being lazy and selfish. Taking care of yourself is healthy and important to do, but I think it can easily become an excuse to be self centered. I guess I’m not sure about where those lines are. I am often accused of not taking care of myself. I’m probably guilty of that too. And I have no response to the accusation. I’m not sure what to think.
Anyway. If you pray, pray that all goes well. It’s pretty minor surgery, comparatively speaking, but sliced is sliced. They knock you out. They do secret things to you while you’re in La La Land. It’s all rather discombobulating.
Sorry. I just wanted to write down the word discombobulating. I’m not even exactly sure what it means. But it feels right.
Peace to you.
© LW Publishing 2011
Very good my brother. I will be praying. ANNNND... You really hit the nail on the head. I have been struggling since September with neurological issues that we are still fighting to figure out. And it is HORRIBLE... AWFUL... SICKENING... to try and stay at the low level of activity and not feel guilty. My mind is so willing and able, yet the tent has got some structural issues. And so many times I overdo it and then I'm in trouble. For a good long while. But then again, I can feel like I'm falling into that selfish trap at times as well... It's hard to do this without answers. I think that makes it worse. Anyway... There's my 2¢
ReplyDeletePeace to you...
sliced again huh? i'll add you to my prayer list. i have a pretty good phone connection with god, so dont worry one bit.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, both of you.
ReplyDelete